[행사] Wedding Message on an Autumn Day

Last autumn, a friend of mine asked me to officiate her daughter's wedding in the early November.

At first, I declined her request because I had already retired from every duty. But I said I would be the last candidate in the officiators list. In Korea, the top list is usually occupied by a priest, and next, professors of a bride or bridegroom.

 

As for me, I have the honorable experience many times as an officiator of wedding of my students. In any case, I had to participate in the wedding as a guest or officiator.

A few days later, I promised to stand at the podium as an officiator of the wedding to be held on campus of Seoul National University, which the bridegroom was graduated from recently. Now he is a promising architect.

So I started to prepare the message by referring to my own databank - the Bible and online KoreanLII.

 

1. From Genesis 2:23-24

 

The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,

and they will become one flesh.

아담이 이르되 이는 내 뼈 중의 뼈요 살 중의 살이라
이것을 남자에게서 취하였은즉 여자라 부르리라 하니라
이러므로 남자가 부모를 떠나 그의 아내와 합하여

둘이 한 몸을 이룰지로다

 

2. From the Epistle to Ephesians 5:21-25

 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,

his body, of which he is the Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ,

so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church

and gave himself up for her.

그리스도를 경외함으로 피차 복종하라
아내들이여 자기 남편에게 복종하기를 주께 하듯 하라
이는 남편이 아내의 머리 됨이 그리스도께서 교회의 머리 됨과 같음이니
그가 바로 몸의 구주시니라
그러므로 교회가 그리스도에게 하듯
아내들도 범사에 자기 남편에게 복종할지니라
남편들아 아내 사랑하기를 그리스도께서 교회를 사랑하시고
그 교회를 위하여 자신을 주심 같이 하라

 

Frankly speaking, the above two scriptures are favored by the Protestant priests and believers.
I had no idea about the response from wedding audience of other religions. So I had to search alternatives.

 

* Source: O Sang-ick, "Ma-i-san 2009" from Gong-u Madang.

3. From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

둘이 하나 (예언자) - 칼릴 지브란

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

함께 있으되 거리를 두라
그래서 하늘 바람이 너희 사이에서 춤추게 하라
서로 사랑하라, 그러나 사랑으로 구속하지는 말라
그보다 너희 영혼의 언덕 사이에 출렁이는 바다처럼 해두라

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

서로의 잔을 채워 주되 한쪽의 잔 만을 마시지 말라
서로의 빵을 주되 한쪽의 빵만을 먹지는 말라
함께 노래하고 춤추며 즐거워하되 각자 혼자 있게 하라
마치 현악기의 줄들이 제각각이지만 하나의 음악을 내는 것처럼

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

서로 가슴을 주되, 서로의 마음을 묶어 두지는 말라
오직 큰 생명의 손길만이 너희의 가슴을 간직할 수 있으니
함께 서 있으되, 너무 가까이 서 있지는 말라
사원의 기둥도 서로 떨어져 있고
참나무와 삼나무는 서로의 그늘 속에선 자랄 수 없나니

 

* It was an honor and privilege for me to officiate the wedding of Mr. Y. Heo and Ms. S. Choi.

In view of the current situation caused by COVID-19, the wedding message must be brief but meaningful. All the guests are required to wear face masks. Trying to finish my message within five minutes, I chose Reiner Kunze's poem. Really, it was a good choice, which were also favored by the bride and bridegroom.

 

4. From the German poem Two in a boat   by Reiner Kunze

두 사람 - 라이너 쿤체

There are two of them In a boat,

one reads the stars,

the other finds the way through the storms.

When one navigates the stars,

the other leads through the storms.

And then, at the end, at the very end,

they'll remember the sea was blue.

두 사람이 노를 저어간다.
한 척의 배를.
한 사람은 별을 알고
또 한 사람은 폭풍을 안다.
한 사람은 별을 보며 배를 안내하고
또 한 사람은 폭풍우를 뚫고 배를 몰고 나아간다.
마침내 끝에 이르렀을 때 두 사람은 기억하리라
바다는 늘 푸른색이었다고.

 

Who wrote this poem, which shows us 'who does what' and 'how to prepare for the twilight of life'? 

As a matter of fact, before the unification of two Germanies, the poet could not write his own poetry freely in East Germany. Contrary to the government's restrictions (including Stasi's eavesdropping) on his free style poetry, Kunze's lyric poems received enthusiastic response from readers at home and abroad. One of the foreign readers was his future wife, Elizabeth from Prague. They passionately exchanged more than 400 letters for years. At last, the Czech physician came to East Berlin to get married to him. In view of the volatile international relations with neighboring countries, the East German government couldn't help but expel the newly wed couple to West Germany.

 

I made up my mind to quote the fourth meaningful and concise poem in my wedding message.

It took place on the first day of November 2020 at Elounge, previously called La Cucina, near the SNU College of Engineering buildings. The campus was so beautiful when all the leaves of trees and forest at Gwanak-san turned to red, yellow and orange colors.

My five-minute wedding message could be summarized into four verses of 17-syllable haiku.

 

안도 다다오 같은 건축가를 닮고 싶은 청년
선녀같은 신부 소개해 준 군대선임 덕분에
타향살이하며 꿈꾸었던 소망이 이뤄졌네

With life-long efforts,
Architect’s dream will come true
Where he has a dream,